Just because you do not live with your birth parents does not mean they do not love you. They just cannot look after you.
If you are living with a foster carer you will probably be having some contact with your birth family. How you feel about contact is very important and your social worker and foster carer can talk to you about this.
After you’re been adopted there are different ways you can keep in touch with your birth family. Sometimes your birth parents and adoptive parents can send letters to each other through our post box system.
Sometimes you can also send letters and cards to your brothers and sisters. This is called indirect contact. In a very few cases you can meet with some members of your birth family, for example a brother or sister. This is called direct contact. Contact usually takes place once or twice a year.
By using the post box system your birth family can continue to share information about your background and pass on news about what’s happening in your birth family. This can help you feel comfortable about who you are and can help you settle with your new family. If letters cannot be passed on, the post box will keep the letters. When you’re over 18 you can ask to see them. Your birth family can also ask.
If you have anything to say, we want to hear it
You can choose a person to be your advocate – this is a person who will listen to what you want to say, and who you want to say it to, and will tell them on your behalf. An advocate could be:
- your social worker
- the person who is looking after you
- The advocacy team
- an adoption support worker
- your social worker can organise an independent visitor for you
Northumberland Adoption Service is here to help:
- children who need adopted families
- children who have been adopted
- adults who have been adopted
- birth families
- people who want to adopt
- families who have adopted
If you have any questions about adoption, you can contact us through your social worker.